KANAMESAMA PUT DOWN THE CHAISE LOUNGE!
by not quite emo-yet
Summary: I can't believe no one thought of this before. We have: Kaname, Zero, Ichiru, Shiki, Aido and Ichijo all together with my imagination. this is yaoi ands its everyonexeveryone. have fun!


Zero ducked as the blow darted towards his face, and then swivelling aimed an elbow at his identical face: which blocked it with an open palm and brought its knee up to smash into Zero's stomach. Or it would have if Zero hadn't promptly dived sideways, rolled, picked himself back up again and sprinted away towards the fire exit stairs, with his twin in hot pursuit.

Yes you guessed it; Zero and Ichiru were fighting again. The fight had started because they had started bickering about vampires and drinking blood in a chance meeting when Zero was on patrol. Yet of course our two favourite silver haired, moody, and alarmingly violent brothers just couldn't keep that sibling rivalry under wraps. So now it was a cross over between a bad Jackie Chan film and a really bad bitch fight, except with more angst.

They had been running after each other all round the grounds from building to building and currently Zero was making an escape from the day class boy's block (which they had reached by an interesting indecent involving Ichiru, a bed sheet and some unexpected gymnastics) via the stairs. They both hurtled down the flights and reaching the bottom Zero made a snap decision and dived through a (conveniently placed) bush. Wriggling through it he emerged the other side and legged it toward an old disused dorm block as fast as his disproportionally long legs could take him. Unfortunately for him Ichiru had taken the deviously cunning route of walking _round_ the bush and was now running after him with his equally long legs.

After some more wonderfully dramatic fight scene with bucket full's of emotional looks and heavy breathing (not that sort you perverts: it's a fight scene!) the pair ended up in an upstairs bedroom in the old dorm still bashing it out until Zero, and then very quickly afterward Ichiru, realised that this was the room were all that shit went down in the penultimate and anti-penultimate episode's of the first series. (See how I cleverly avoided spoilers there?)

They both froze for a second but Zero recovered first and delivered a two fisted punch into the centre of his ickle bro's chest before grabbing his wrists and pinning Ichiru against the wall so he couldn't escape.

I'm sure you wonderful readers can guess what this must have looked like. ( I am of course assuming that all the wonderful readers are yaoi obsessed fan girls who will take every opportunity to see the inappropriate meaning were there isn't one.....yet).

Kaname Kuran glanced at a somewhat ruffled bush as he walked past, hoping that the others would notice the faint smell of Zero that surrounded it. Kaname had needed to "deal with" a particularly troublesome vampires who had taken it upon herself to devote life her at the altar of Akatsuki Kain. She had sent countless love letters appeared in the strangest of places including Kain's private bathroom, told everyone she met that she and Kain were lovers and generally acted in a stupid, undignified and bratty way.

The problem was that this annoying little vampirette came from a noble family and therefore it was necessary to exercise caution. But despite several attempts on Kain's side to appeal to the family to rein her in, the girl appeared to be unstoppable. Kain had been forced to visit his family home for reprieve and to avoid embarrassment.

Kaname at this point decided to put a stopped to the ridiculousness, it had ceased to be funny: and so having arranged a meeting with this girl just outside the grounds of Cross Academy had turned up with Ichijo, Aido, and Shiki. After a quick blast of the good old "I'm-a-scary-pure-blood-fear-me" charm and girl had become quite contrite and compliant and had seemed really sincere when she had promised "to never ever bother Kain-senpai again and that she was very sorry to have bothered Kuran-sama like this." Kaname had found the whole thing shockingly dull.

To be fair Kaname found a lot of things dull, it wasn't that he had a short attention span, or that he was so narcissistic that he didn't care about anything but himself. It was just that everything was just so bloody predictable! Being of higher intelligence that most and having been an unflinching manipulator for the better part of his life Kaname exactly how people: thought, acted, reacted, felt, planned and hope and knowing how to get the desired results out of them there was little in his life that he a) didn't see coming and b) hadn't see a few times before- except with more blood.

To add to this was the fact that what he actually spent most of his time doing was placating a room of old men who furiously tried to undermine each other whilst trying to get on his good side. The so called pillars of community. And of course the only thing that was expected of him to receive this propitious attention was to remain the ultimate vampire poster boy.

What this meant was that he was expected to be calm, stolid, stately, patient, charming, and scary, not to show much emotion, to not break any traditions, to not do anything controversial and to never imply that you were bored.

Shockingly enough all these boundaries caused a part Kaname's brain to screech "Why the hell I am one of the world's most powerful vampires if I can't do anything I want to? Sure controlling and manipulating people is fun but I can think of much _much _better ways of entertaining myself_._" One thing that everyone Kaname knew over looked or took for granted about was the fact that he was physically a teenage boy and despite all of his reserve he did knew some kicks. Okay so maybe he was a little narcissistic.

Which was why, instead of sensibly returning to his dorms, he was subtly tracking the smell of adrenalin, testosterone, and two slightly different yet extremely similar smells one of which he knew very well indeed. And the fun part was the fact that Shiki, Aido and Ichijo were all still with him; abet with slightly puzzled expressions. He wondered what they were thinking: he could take a pretty good stab at it though. As a group their dynamic was interesting as there was an awful lot bubbling just beneath the surface.

Aido for one had an almost slavish devotion for Kaname, it wasn't pathetic or pitiful as Aido actually liked and respected him for himself and not for the power, the history or the way he was treated by others. Not that it stopped him silently watching Kaname's every move with what can only be described as hunger. Kaname knew this and was pretty sure that Aido would do anything for him which only made him more useful, and fun to play with. Ichijo was in a bitter situation, despite his happy disposition he was tortured by the fact that he was immensely attracted to Aido. Kaname was acutely aware of the trouble that Ichijo had in quashing the possessiveness and jealous he felt when it came to Aido. He and Kaname shared a wordless acknowledgement of the unfortunate situation they were in. And Shiki, well Shiki was just Shiki, almost without regret and doubt he sailed through his existence facing his complicated past and family life head n and disregarding it. He was refreshingly it innocent in a bizarre way, his cute features matching this personality.

Kaname widened his vision and deepened his perception and...There! He had it, he pin pointed the location of the two hunter boys! Without a word of explanation he began scaling the wall below the window of the room they were in. The others equally silently followed him. He was planning to enter via the next door window to where the combatants where, well it would never do to surprise the pair without first knowing what was going on first.

Once him reached the correct window Kaname flicked his finger and the catch on the inside door slipped open allowing him to pull the window open and slide inside. He turned and put a finger to his lips in a signal to be silence to the others who were now looking even more confused as, with their heighted senses, they could clearly hear and smell the battle going on the room next door.

Kaname recognised this place as were he had murdered that person and wondered why the twins had chosen such as place to have a fight, but he it was far more interesting to see what he could make the fight turn into with the right, shall we say, causes. It was a deserted building, containing a group of not entirely stable vampires and one wannabe vampire (Ichiru clearly feels left out of all the fun). It was night time, there was already a lot of tension in the air and Kaname right now didn't give a fuck for his responsibilities and wanted to see what on earth would happen if certain people found themselves in certain, positions.

Oh this was going to be _fun._

He could hear the two attacking each other rapidly as he silently glided over to the door to the room he was in and stepped into the corridor outside. The sounds grew louder as now there was only one wall between them. But the sounds were unusually loud and to Kaname's delight he noticed that the door as slightly ajar. The wonderful thing about this was it enabled him to pick and choose to interrupt whenever he saw fit. It really should have been above him to peer through half open doors, especially when he had the ability to see through doors anyway. But it wasn't and so Kaname got to enjoy the view.

After looking for little more than a split second he saw that everything was the same as he had left it. The four poster bed, the ornate furnishings, the thick carpet, all left exactly as they were with a thin layer of dust over them. Even his chaise lounge was still in the same place.

(as a quick side note has anyone else noticed Kaname's bizarre affinity with chaise lounges? Their everywhere!, so we shall be using that to our advantage. )

The only difference to the room was there were now two tall identical young men trying to kill each other in it. Kaname smirked as he surveyed them; they were _nice _those two, pale faces and hair, those shocking eyes and a sort of feral grace all gave them Kaname's fascination. Not to mention that he had a bit of past with Zero, to say to least. He hadn't quite forgotten how wonderfully that boy could react! And he shouldn't have so much fun when his hands were around zero's throat whilst having a gun pointed at him, should he?

About a second later both boys froze almost simultaneously at some unseen cause. Zero regained his senses first and punched Ichiru before smarted pining him against the wall so to better continue his attack.

And the fanboy part of Kaname (I'm absolutely positive there is one.) flip out. Now he had a very good idea of what he was going to do; he just couldn't resist the temptation.

Moving faster than eyes could see, knowing that the other would follow him, he swept into the room and got right up close it the pair. Four eyes widened as without warning Kaname snatched Ichiru from Zero's grip, rounded on him and bish slapped him across the face. Using the "scary face™" he growled at Ichiru

"And just want the hell do you think you're doing with my Zero?.


End file.
